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The Struggle is Real

Updated: Mar 9, 2021

By Jo Alipalo

This is the month of love, and for all my fellow single ladies out there, this month does not disappoint in pointing out the reality of our singleness.

I have a sister who sometimes says, "I wonder why I’m still single. When is 'the one' going to appear in my life? I’m tired of waiting."

To which I respond, "You, you are so blessed you have no baggage that you carry from broken relationships."

She would sigh, maybe look away, but almost always I guarantee that she would answer me with, "but you don’t understand. You’ve been in a relationship, but I’ve been single all my life!"

I understand what she feels . . . although I do not grieve about being single since birth, I sometimes grieve on the many poor choices I have made in the past and how many of those heartbreaks could have easily been avoided. And that is why I am so passionate about letting all my single friends know that what they have is such a GIFT!

"That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God" (Ephesians 3:17-19).

To all my single ladies, in a relationship or not, learning to grasp the fullness of the love of Christ just like Paul’s prayer in this passage equals to being filled with the fullness of God. Having another sinner and stranger to love is no easy task, and until we understand that we are only full and complete with the love of Christ, we will not succeed in loving others the way Christ wants us. If this is not the reality of our lives, we will constantly be grabbers for people’s love instead of God’s love.

I get it, we all desire to be accepted, to be loved, to be known. But how many times do we miss the greatest truth that Jesus is the only one Who can fulfill that; and if you’re a child of Christ today, then that is true in your life! Let’s live like it! We are never deprived of love. It’s readily available for us, so let’s keep on "grabbing" His love! It is enough.

1 John 4:16 says, "And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."

So I encourage you, when you see that post of the man you dream of marrying dating someone else and all smiles on their faces, you may be tempted to run to another person in hopes to make you feel wanted. Don’t! Run to Jesus and live His love.

When your social media floods over with pictures of happy couples, you may be tempted to sulk and grab at something. Discontentment starts to creep in, and now your day is ruined. Don’t! Run to Jesus and live His love.

When all your friends seem to be getting their lives together and you feel you’re left behind, you may be tempted to throw a statement to one-up those people. Don’t! Run to Jesus and live His love.

All these things we think can fill us only leave us feeling emptier and more rejected. When we have Christ and are anchored in the knowledge of His love, we are full--fully loved and accepted and ever more empowered to say no to the flesh running to things other than Him!

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