By, Ashley Hatch
I've heard the song "How Can I Fear" by Ron Hamilton but never understood the meaning of it. My family went through the loss of our son Caden in 2020. When I was pregnant, I was afraid when the doctors stated that they could see that he would have possible heart issues, bilateral hydronephrosis, and agenesis of the corpus callosum. We found out he had a genetic condition called Mosaic Trisomy 8 that caused this. The doctors told us that Caden might need a week or two in the NICU and to be prepared that he would need a lot of help.
The Lord was with my family as Caden was in the NICU and the CICU. He had multiple open-heart surgeries, a tracheostomy, a g-tube, and a vesicostomy. Caden crashed when they tried to change him from the hospital ventilator to the home ventilator. We were blessed to spend time with him before we lost him.
This year I had an early miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy. I had two shots of methotrexate, a laparoscopy, and a D & C. I've learned that our hope is in God's presence with grief and loss, and we do not need to be afraid. Here are some important lessons to know if you are going through loss.
1. God is always with you.
a. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Friend, God is with you even when you do not feel like He is. He is there!
2. God is good.
a. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." God is good. You may doubt it when going through this time, but rest assured He is good and He is a faithful God. I know this because He has been faithful to me.
3. God will give you grace for each day.
a. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Make sure to spend time with the Lord every day. He will give you the grace that you need for each day. He has done it and is doing it for me!
4. Pray and worship when grief hurts.
a. There is this quote by Charles Spurgeon that says, "My dear friend, when grief pushes you to the dust, worship there." When I first read this, I thought Spurgeon must have been crazy. How can I worship when I can't physically move because the pain from this grief is so bad? I've learned that if I can grab my headphones and listen to worship music, I can praise the Lord when the pain is bad. Praising the Lord brings me out of it. Amazingly, we can worship God, and He helps our grief. So how can we fear when we have Jesus? We can have peace through spending time with the Lord.