The Good and Bad of Emotional Scars
By, Tamah Bryant
A physical scar is a reminder that you once had a wound. The deeper the wound, the more visible the scar...I have scars on my flesh that tell stories. The scars on my heart (though hidden) tell a deeper story.
Emotional scars are a part of our reality. These we tend to guard a little more. Work harder at hiding, scared of what people may think, or what they would say if they knew your story that caused such a deep, ugly scar across your heart. We all have our stories and we all have a choice on whether we share that painful piece of our hearts or not. The stories I have chosen to tell about my depression, anxiety, miscarriage, and failures in my marriage were stories I used to keep tucked away in the safety of my own mind. When I did start to open up I felt healing take place.
I remember after losing my baby I felt a jagged scar form in my heart. I wasn't trying to get pregnant. When I found out I was, I was not excited at all. I was upset because I still had a baby and I dreaded the thought of having two in diapers at the same time. Over time, I became excited about this life growing inside of me, I was almost finished with my first trimester and my husband and I were falling in love with our little miracle. I trusted God. He would help me through the adventure of having an infant, a toddler, a preschooler, a middle schooler, and two high-school kids in my home all at once. The next few weeks were filled with thoughts of crazy adventure.
Then, over the course of a couple of days, the baby God gave me was gone. I was confused. Why did God wait until I fell in love with this tiny life to take it away? To be honest, I had a hard time trusting Him after that because, even though I knew in my head He is always good and He always has a plan, it did not feel like it and I thought Him to be rather cruel bad timing.
Over time, God has shown me that He has always been there for me Though my arms still ache to hold the child of mine I never knew, I know my child is forever held in the arms of Christ. My child has never experienced the pain this ugly world offers. One day my aching arms will be filled with my child's glorified body.
I have a scar, but that scar tells a story, of the love and faithfulness of God. The determination to find the healing that could only come from God, Himself. A story of God holding all my tears in a bottle. Not one single tear I have cried has ever been wasted.
Emotional pain is a very present part of this fallen world. But emotional pain is also a reminder of the world to come, where there will be no more pain, no more sorrow. Every tear will be wiped away-never to fall down our cheeks again. No more sadness. No matter how deep the scar is, it cannot compare with the glory to come. Sorrow will not last beyond the grave for those who hope in Christ.