There is Only One You!

By, Ashley Jupp

Do you remember the day you stopped liking yourself? Or perhaps more specifically, the day you noticed things about yourself that were unlike-able? As children, we generally have a naive quality that makes us oblivious to our own flaws and weaknesses. In fact, I don’t remember really noticing much about myself as a child. This proved to be a very good thing for me, as it allowed me to navigate my childhood quite contentedly despite my 90’s-esque mushroom haircut, gigantic overbite, and the Pepto Bismol pink sweatsuit from Kmart that I rocked with pride far too many times in a row!

I do remember that terrible day though. I remember the day I decided not to like me.

“Ewwww. What’s wrong with your feet?!”, the girl asked with disgust. I heard the words and shrugged them off, looking around at the other 6th grade girls from my gym class who were lined up by the gigantic pools edge, waiting for their turn to dive in. I silently wondered if the gym teacher said we were supposed to dive in on the count of 3...like “1,2, DIVE”...or were we supposed to count “1,2,3, and THEN dive. Once we dove in, which stroke were we supposed to do again?! I was as “by the book” as a kid could get, so these were the kind of dilemmas that plagued my mind on a daily basis.

As I glanced around nervously, attempting to see if maybe I could just discreetly copy what was happening around me, I saw a few girls looking right at me and then down to my feet, followed by giggles. I remember feeling an awkward and uncomfortable feeling I had never felt before wash over me as I was aware for the first time that unwanted attention was directed my way. I felt embarrassed by the singling out, and I also felt very confused. I mean, after all, my feet were just like every other 11 year old girls feet...weren’t they?

I studied them for a few seconds before looking down to the feet of the girl directly to the right of me and then all the way down the line of girls until the realization finally hit me that mine were different. I didn’t like feeling different. Although I had never noticed their shape before, and mostly just haphazardly shoved them into shoes or socks without really looking at them, I remember how grotesque they appeared to me in that moment.

Over the years since, I’ve had very few people mention things they didn’t like about me. Worse than that though, I’ve thought and said things about myself without ever hearing it from someone else, almost as if I were subconsciously attempting to beat everyone to the punchline. At some point, I started to believe the lie that God had made many mistakes in me (his creation) and that it was unreasonable to be content with the mind he gave me, the body he gave me, and even the life he gave me at times!

What I’ve discovered over time is how noble it can feel to beat yourself up. I mean, we’re not supposed to have a proud and haughty spirit, right? So surely this must be a form of humility! The problem with that line of thinking is that we were created fearfully and wonderfully in the image of a perfect and holy God. At some point in my attempt at humility, I realized that I had inadvertently become discontent.

As women, we can be especially bad about this, bemoaning the curly hair we wished were straight, the stubby eyelashes that feel worthless without a few coats of mascara, and let’s not forget the 5 lbs we believe we could stand to lose at all times!

So how do we love ourselves in a way that honors God as our creator and isn’t filled with pride? How do we practice CONTENTMENT without becoming CONCEITED?

1. Recognize GOD as creator and designer!

[Revelation 4:11] "Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. Spend more time worshipping the creator than worrying about his creation! I’ve found that when my focus is on loving God, the natural outflow is that I will love and serve those around me, which doesn’t leave me much time to overthink and criticize myself."

2. Realize that you were fearfully and wonderfully made with a distinct purpose!

[Psalm 139:14] "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Understand that he carefully chose each detail of who you are, and he has a purpose in it! Your flaws are incredibly valuable and make you YOU."

3. Reject the lies from Satan about your worth.

[2 Corinthians 10:5]"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledgeof God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Ask God for help navigating your thought life. When you’re tempted to think negative thoughts about yourself, think instead on whatever is true, just, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praise worthy!"

The enemy thrives on whispering lies in your ear, so fill your heart and mind with positive thoughts and TRUTH and you won’t be able to hear him!